“The Rooster Saved us!”
Golden Egg
Kostroma Region, Russia, April 1 — In what experts are diplomatically calling “biologically unorthodox,” a rural couple in central Russia claims their rooster has laid a solid gold egg—a feat that has left both scientists and theologians in spirited debate.
Local farmer’s wife Ludja Tschernikova, told Channel 7 reporters she discovered the phenomenon early Thursday morning. “He was behaving oddly,” she said. “He crowed without stopping, refused his corn, and then—there it was. A golden egg. I thought I was dreaming!”
The bird, now dubbed “Saint Cluckmir the Blessed,” has become a national celebrity. Villagers have been seen leaving breadcrumbs and small icons near his coop, and the local priest reportedly sprinkled the rooster with holy water “just in case.”
Scientists, meanwhile, remain dumbfounded. “We have no record of male poultry oviposition, golden or otherwise,” said Professor William Friedman of the Washington Science University. “Frankly, this challenges everything we thought we knew about biology—and metallurgy.”
The golden egg, verified by local jewelers as 24-carat, is estimated at $53,000, though metallurgists insist it shows “mysterious internal pulsations.” Ludja’s husband, who was facing bankruptcy, believes the event was divine intervention. “I was praying for a miracle,” she said through tears. “And then my rooster saved the farm.”
Offers for the bird have already flooded in, including a $1.5 million bid from an unnamed Russian billionaire.
Mrs. Tschernikova, however, has refused to sell. “This is not just a rooster,” she declared. “This is hope with feathers.”
The Ministry of Agriculture has not yet commented, though rumors persist that the rooster has since been placed under “spiritual and scientific observation.”
